


The Collective Right to be Baby

by ghostintraining, noirsparker



Series: In Which Steve is HarleyPeter trash [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: I love them okay, M/M, chapters are hella short I'm sorry I have adhd, if ur a st/rker fuck off i dont want u here, neither of them are good at boys, rarepair on main, they're both tonys awkward gay sons, tony and pepper totally play matchmaker with them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-02-09 15:36:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 6,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18641014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostintraining/pseuds/ghostintraining, https://archiveofourown.org/users/noirsparker/pseuds/noirsparker
Summary: Harley is new in town, but that doesn't mean anything when your mentor and idle has known him most of his life. Tony is a meddler, and Peters gay awakening could not have come at a worse time, nor could his crush have been on a worse person.Meanwhile Harley is trying to navigate New York, a new school and a crush on the adorable stuttering nerd that Tony seems to have adopted. Which isnt so easy when Tony seems to always find a reason for them to see each other, especially when Harley looks like shit and Peter looks like an actual angel.Are these two awkward idiots EVER going to admit to each other that they're in love? That would mean Peter actually forming words. Maybe this will take a while.





	1. Accidental Assault

**Author's Note:**

> the name has literally nothing to do with the fic i'm sorry
> 
> harley and peter collectively have one right and it's the right to be baby
> 
> welcome to my rarepair in this house we die crying over tony's gay sons

Peter has had..., a terrible day at school. Flash literally does not know when to shut the fuck up and it takes all Peter's energy not to just punch him in the fucking face. And now... he has to go on patrol for a few hours before going to see Mister Stark for God knows what reason. Not that Peter needs to be given a reason to see him, Mister Stark is like a father to him, and he's always eager to be able to impress his idol.  
However, today seems odd. Mister Stark never asks him over after school without a reason, and the time he should be there keeps changing. He checks his phone while the cashier rings up his items, half expecting yet another time change text, but there's nothing. He figures he can at least be grateful for that.

 _Fuck._ He's dropped his change. _Fantastic._ As he bends down to get it, his head collides with a knee. Hard. Which would have been painful were he expecting it, and is even more so because he wasn't. That knee was not there a second ago. Neither, he supposes, was the person attached to it, who he looks up at and then instantly away from because apparently the cutest guy in the universe has just accidentally assaulted him. And he's definitely crying a little.

_______________________________

"Holy shit I'm sorry! Are you okay dude? I didn't see you there, I'm a fucking idiot I swear to God." Harley really needs to learn to pay attention to his surroundings. He just fucking attacked a guy with his knee. Tony would probably find this hilarious later, but Harley just feels like an asshole. Especially when the guy looks up at him, eyes slightly wet and hand on his head, and all the oxygen in the room seems to become allergic to him. _Okay keep it together Keener, you just hurt the dude, gay panic is not appropriate right now._

The guy seems to be avoiding looking at him, which he supposes is an appropriate reaction to being kneed in the head by a fucking idiot who hasn't showered in two weeks. Trying not to seem too much like an asshole, Harley picks up the dudes change and offers him a hand to help him stand back up. He takes it, still avoiding his gaze, mutters a thank you and runs out of the store. Without his stuff. By the time Harley picks it up and runs out to give it to him, he's completely disappeared. He doesn't know why he's so disappointed. He puts the six energy drinks and the sandwich into his bag in case he happens to see the guy again, and heads towards the address Tony gave him, hoping to shower and change before meeting this Peter kid Tony was telling him about.  
______________________________

Peter doesn't know why he's nervous. He doesn't even know why he's here. And yet....here he is. Based on what seems to be one of Tonys famous impulse decisions. As he steps into the elevator his spider-sense tingles just a little and Peter braces for the elevator to break down, but he reaches his destination just fine.

"Mister Stark? Hello? Its Peter" He waits a few seconds before adding "Parker.... Mister Stark?" Tony normally waits for him outside the elevator. Needless to say he's confused. That is, until Tony rounds the corner with someone slightly familiar, though it takes Pete a moment to place it.

  
_Isn't that the dude who kneed me in the head?_  
____________________________

Tony and Harley are watching the feed from the security cameras in the next room. Tony says he wants to make sure Peter is really confused before he surprises him. He's been asking to meet Harley for a while now. As the kid steps out of the elevator, Harley panics for the second time today.  
"Tony.... he's the kid I accidentally assaulted earlier"  
"He's what?"  
"You know the guy I kneed in the head? It's him. Please, please, tell me that's not Peter Parker."  
"I hate to break it to you kiddo. That's Peter Parker"  
_Fuck._ Is Harleys first thought. Followed immediately by: _Oh shit he's definitely gonna hate me._ And then a few seconds later: _Why the hell didn't Tony tell me he's adorable._

This was going to be an.... interesting evening.


	2. First impressions? Worst impressions.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teeny tiny update since its 6am and I don't have the brainpower to write much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for how badly formatted everything is, I'm posting on mobile. I'm gonna go through and edit everything a little better as soon as I can get on my pc 💕

Peters eyes widen as the incredibly handsome teenager responsible for the massive bruise currently forming on his head walks towards him and holds out a hand.  
"I'm Harley. I'm uh... really sorry about your head"  
"I'm... uh... I'm... hi... I- my heads fine!!" _What's my fucking name how did i forget my own fucking name_ "I'm Spiderman!" _Well fuck. Now he hates me. Im awkward and weird and he hates me._  
"You know you can introduce yourself with your real name, Squirt" Now Mister Stark is laughing at him! Tonight could not go any worse.  
"R-right! Sorry. Peter. It's Peter." Harley is smiling at him and Pete can't tell if he's laughing at him or just being polite. Either way there's no chance he'd ever even look his way now, not after that.

He knows his cheeks are red as he sits down and tries to not look weird as he hides his face. He fails, as always.  
Suddenly, 6 energy drinks and a sandwich are set down in front of him.  
"You left these at the store, thought you might want them back" He's still smiling. It's still adorable. Pete still wants to hide on a corner and cry because he made the worst first impression in the history of first impressions.  
"Oh! Thanks" He gives a shy smile and goes back to staring at his feet. He doesn't want to be rude, but he's so fucking embarrassed right now he doesn't know how he's still alive.

Maybe Peter is way too into someone he officially met 10 minutes ago. Maybe Peter doesn't care at all.  
_______________________________  
It takes Harley every ounce of confidence he can muster to calmly walk over to Peter, extend a hand in greeting and introduce himself. He probably fucked it up. Peter probably thinks he's weird or too forward or just straight up an idiot. Why didn't Tony tell him he was cute.

_'Spiderman'. God, he's even adorable when he's struggling to speak. Why is he struggling to speak though? Is he scared of me now?? Does he think I kneed him on purpose?!! Oh God oh fuck this could not have gone worse._

As he walks away from Peter, still watching the other boy intently, Harley trips over a stool, then a trash can, then apparently himself. _Fan-fucking-tastic. Not embarrassing at all Keener_. Peter doesn't even glance up. _Great. So he really does hate me. Way to go idiot._

He sits at the other side of the room to Peter, and switches between a game on his phone and staring at the back of his head. Somehow even that's cute.

Maybe Harley is falling way too fast. Maybe Harley doesn't give a single fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated and really helps keep me motivated, but please don't feel obligated!! Thank you so much for reading this, I hope you're enjoying it!!


	3. Since When Was Adopting Two Gay Teens This Hard?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is from Tonys point of view.

The kids are acting weird. Tony knew they'd be awkward. Well, he knew Peter would be awkward. He's never seen Harley act with less than 100% confidence but Peters seems to be permanently malfunctioning at around 3%. Peter is, as expected, completely unable to speak, and Tony figures it will subside after a few days. Harley, however, is clumsy now. Which is new. And odd. And Tony doesn't know why. And he hates not knowing. 

_Maybe I'll just...observe for a while. Can't hurt to try and find out, can it?_

The silence is almost deafening now. You can practically hear Peter's embarrassment, and Harley has really gotta do something other than play on his phone.

"So, Harley, whats the school you're transferring to called? I can't remember" He totally remembers, but if they aren't gonna start a conversation, someone has to. 

"Midtown, I'm actually really lucky, they don't normally accept students this late in the semester." Tony watches Peter's head shoot up, and hides a smile.

"Oh isn't that your school, Pete? Maybe you could, I don't know, help him get acclimated?" Now Harley looks panicked. Seriously, what is up with these two?

"No I-I cant!!.... I mean, I'm a little busy with.. with classes. Senior year and everything, ya know? I don't think they'd let me out of class. Usually new students spend the first 2 days with a TA, anyway."  _I've never heard anyone struggle to say a sentence that much. What the hell is happening?_ Tony expected a trademark snarky comment from the younger boy but Harley just looked kind of... sad? 

 _Okay, enough observing._ Without a word he walked out of the room. 

"Friday, run diagnostics on the kids"

"Right away sir." He waited the few seconds Friday took, and when she told him her findings he was surprised he didnt notice it right away. Their hearts were beating faster and their oxytocin receptors were going crazy.  _Oh sweet gay Jesus. They have crushes on each other. This could be fun_.

* * *

 

After striding back into the room, Tony announces he's going to get food. He pulls a hologram up, unsolved equations that neither of them realises Friday can solve in 3 seconds, and points at it. 

"You see that? Work it out. You're both geniuses, shouldn't be too hard. I'll maybe be half an hour?" 

He's gone before either of them can say a word in protest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh I realised something important that I dont know how obvious i can make it in the actual fic so?? here i guess  
> harley and pete are boht incredibly awkward but their awkardness manifests differently.  
> For Pete the gay panic affects his ability to speak, which is why he seems like an idiot around Harley and not a prodigy.  
> For Harley he really struggles to focus on his actions, because hes too focused on Pete. Hence the tripping over.   
> Because neither of their crushes manifest the same way, both of them just assumes the other is Just Like That and thinks nothing of it.


	4. This Has Nothing To Do With Squidward

Silence.

For about 15 minutes Peter and Harley have sat next to each other in absolute silence, pens in hand. Neither has written much, but nobody is going to admit it's because they're thinking about each other. Harley sighs loudly, snapping Peter from the depths of his mind.

"Did he say what this was for?"  
"No. All he said was that we're both geniuses so we should be able to figure it out"  
"Maybe he wants us to work together?"  
"W...work together? o-on this? us?"  
"Okay seriously, _Spiderman,_ why do you sound utterly offended every time someone so much as suggests we speak?"   
"I don't... that's ridiculous. I'm just...," Peter pauses for a moment, wondering what he should say, "I've never been good at... this"  
"This?"  
"People! I don't work well in teams, the only reason Mr Stark likes me is that I'm so desperate to impress him I can't even call him Tony, even when he tells me to! I don't want to show you around Midtown because nobody likes me but Ned and you're so  _cool_ I don't want you thinking I'm a loser, and I definitely don't want people to start bullying you because you know me. You're new in town, and Mr Stark cares about you a lot, probably way more than he cares about me, and he's like a father to me!  I don't want to screw shit up, so I figured its best to just avoid any opportunity to do so!" Peter genuinely doesn't know how he went from being unable to say a word to the boy to shouting his biggest insecurities in his face but he immediately regrets it. Harley seems unphased though.

"You don't have to work well in teams, and I guarantee you he doesn't only like you because you want to impress him. Tony is fucking surrounded by people who want to do that and you're the only one he puts up with. I can also guarantee that I'm not cool and am in fact a caffeine addicted goblin who knows how to deal with bullies. The only way you could screw any of this up would be like, literally murdering me, and I sincerely ask you to not do that because as shit as life can be, I am dashingly handsome and depriving the world of me would be more of a crime than the murder itself." Peter takes a moment to process that, and then a further moment to be upset that he sounded like a whiny kid while Harley sounded somehow smooth and very comforting at the same time, before inhaling deeply.

"Okay... you wanna work together on this?" His grin is all the answer Peter needs.

* * *

 

Tony walks through the door, laden with at least 3 different kinds of takeout, to see something highly, highly unexpected. Almost an entire ream of paper seems to have been used solving his equations, but that's  _certainly_ not what draws the eye. 

Harley is standing over the sink, wet paper towel in hand, wiping what looks like ink off of his face, as Peter roars with laughter.

"Oh my god this is not funny shut the hell up" the laughter in the younger boys voice contradicts his words, and this only seems to spur Peter on more.  
"Whatever you say  _Squidward_ "  
"This has  **NOTHING** to do with Squidward, Parker. Nothing." He sounds deadly serious for a second before dissolving back into giggles. Once he seems to have gotten most of the ink off of his face and lips, he turns around, still giggling, and points at Peter.

"You owe me a shirt"  
"Wait- why?!"  
"Well this one is obviously ruined"  
"I fail to see how I have any liability in this since  _I_ wasn't the one chewing your pen, Keener"  
"That's absolutely beside the point and I refuse to explain my thinking, now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get a clean shirt before Tony gets back" The tone of the exchange is refreshingly jokey, and Tony is  _so glad_ he went to get food.

"Little late for that, kiddo," Both boys stop dead and turn to face Tony, who brandishes the inhumanely large amount of takeout he is holding "go change, and maybe shower, we'll save you some food."

Once Harley is out of earshot, Tony sits on the table in front of Peter.

"It's nice to see you two getting along, I honestly wasn't sure you would"  
"We didn't really get along,  _per se_. I kind of shouted at him and then we agreed to work together. And then two minutes later he bit his pen way too hard and", Peter has to fight not to giggle again, "That happened" He loses and starts to giggle again. Tony realises that Peter has probably been up about 18 hours now and the giggling is definitely a result of sleep deprivation.

"Either way, it's nice to see. I hope you two can be friends. Now eat up squirt, you're gonna have to go to bed soon"

By the time Harley comes back, Peter has already gone home. He tries not to hide his disappointment. 

 


	5. Peter Parker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Harley panics about Peter. Relentlessly.

 

Harley is overthinking things. Obviously. There's no way Peter Parker hates him just because a pen exploded in his mouth, Tony was probably right, he was just really tired and left early.... _right?_

 

He should not be this worked up about this. About Peter. Who introduced himself to him as _Spiderman_  for fucks sake. Who didn't say a word to him until prompted, who sat as far away from him as he could and made excuses to not spend any time with him. Who was basically a bit of a rude git all night.

 

Peter Parker, who can't seem to speak properly, who's apparently top of his class at Midtown, who sat there all night in a baggy sweater and ripped sweatpants and somehow looked like he belonged on a runway. Peter Parker, who's first real interaction with Harley was to call him cool and panic about Harley hating him, as if he could ever do that. Who's hair was a fucking mess but in a weird, sort of perfect way. Who had laughed at the pen exploding in his mouth only when Harley started laughing himself, and had seemed genuinely concerned beforehand. 

_Peter Parker, who I've known for like 10 minutes and somehow managed to become completely infatuated with._

Peter Parker, who'd run away the minute  Harley left the room, who hadn't even bothered to say goodbye, who he didn't know if he'd ever see outside of school again.

_Peter Parker, who definitely hates me now, and I don't know what I did wrong._


	6. Harley Keener

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Peter panics about Harley. Relentlessly.

Peter can't sleep. In fact, he doesn't know if he'll ever sleep again. Because of Harley  _fucking_ Keener. 

He really wishes Tony had at least told him he was gonna be meeting _someone._ Maybe then he wouldn't have had to stand in front of the cutest guy he'd ever seen in his 2XL depression hoodie and sweatpants he's had since he was 14. 

 _Why does it matter anyway?_ He rolls over for the 80th time.  _He probably hates me now._

He shouldn't, doesn't want to be, this worked up about Harley. 

Harley, who's clumsy and quiet but seems to really have his shit together. Harley who somehow still looked amazing covered in red ink, who bites the tip of his tongue while he writes, who looks like he literally doesn't know what a hairbrush is but absolutely rocks that. 

Harley, who fucking kneed him in the head and still made him gay panic every time he spoke to him. Who Peter is both excited and scared to see at school tomorrow because he doesn't have an excuse not to show him around anymore, but he knows he'll only embarrass himself more. 

Harley who was somehow simultaneously the exact opposite of Peter's type and the only guy he wanted to think about ever again. Harley who'd been kind to him after Peter had shouted at him, who'd found a way to comfort him on literally everything he was worried about 3 seconds after being told, who was clearly an incredibly fucking genius. 

Harley who would probably meet Flash tomorrow, and that can't end well for him.

_Harely, who's way out of my league anyway. Who if he doesn't hate me already, definitely will soon._ __


	7. Fuckin' Baltic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midtown babey!

 

It's fucking freezing. Why are they making him stand outside for this? Surely he can operate a door for himself? Although, he is clumsy. He supposes its best he's there to make sure he doesn't find a way to die between the car and the school doors.

He was called out during homeroom and informed he'd be showing the new kid, Harley Keener, around. Apparently Tony had phoned the school. 

Peter is going to kill him. 

 

Somehow, some fucking how, he looks perfect even at 8:30am. Who in the hell looks perfect at 8:30 am??? Jesus and Thor, if they're even different people. He's pretty sure that's it. And yet, Harley Keener is right fucking there.

 

Peter's blushing again, he can tell. He doubts he'd even need a mask right now, he'd blend in perfectly with the spiderman suit. He wordlessly hands Harley and envelope and tries to act like he isn't staring at him as he reads what's inside. He's absolutely staring at him.  _He fucking sticks his tongue out when he reads what the hell that's so cute I'm gonna cry... On God you'd better keep it together Parker, you got a whole day with him now._

"You know where any of these are?" Peter is snapped out of his gay panic attack by Harley's voice, as he hands him his class schedule.  _Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me._  

"U-uh yeah... it looks like we're in the same classes" 

Peter is definitely not gonna pass senior year.

* * *

_Am I overthinking it or does he sound disappointed? How do I play this cool? How do I even breathe around him? How the fuck am I gonna survive this year?_

 

Harley somehow manages to put on a confident grin and say,

"Great, that means I can copy your homework," without sounding like anything's off at all. He doesn't know how he does that, but he's glad he does.

He follows him to their first class of the day, Spanish, and takes a seat behind him. He doesn't hear a single word the teacher says.

Peter looks like fucking heaven on earth. Not that the 'got dressed in a dark dumpster' look from yesterday didn't work for him, it really  _ **really**_  did, but holy shit, Peter Parker in clothes that actually fit him well? Both a godsend and a snack.

_If this is how he dresses every day, I might not even survive the week_


	8. Personal Tutor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol sorry I didn't update yesterday my brain was not functioning on this plane of existence. anyway I love you all every time I get an email about a comment I like. cry your feedback makes me so happy I'd definitely have abandoned this like 4 chapters in without yall comments. big uwus for everyone.

 

 

"Y-you want me...to help _Harley Keener_  with his homework?" Peters' voice pitches up at the end of the sentence, and Harley can't help but smile a little, (from just outside the door, where he stands eavesdropping,) before he realises that Peter sounded very much like he did not want to spend a second more around him than absolutely necessary. 

_He really hates me that much?? He's known me a month, we've had one conversation and the idea of being around me disgusts him. I mean, what did I expect? It's not like anyone liked me back in Tennesee. Did I seriously think I'd move to New York and be cared about? God, I'm a fool._

 

Cobbwell sighs loudly, and he can almost see him pinching his nose, something he does every time he has a conversation with Harley. 

"Look, Peter, I know it's not ideal. Keener is a nightmare on his good days, but I genuinely believe with a push he can be almost as good as you. I can't imagine you two getting along at all, but you do have something in common. Tony Stark. He's listed as Harleys emergency contact, his only contact, and when I phoned him he told me he was most likely to listen to you. Stark swears he's a smart kid, and I need you to convince him to try."

It's Peters turn to sigh now, Harley almost forgets that he's heartbroken because somehow even that is adorable. He can't even see him. 

"It's not that he's a nightmare, Mr Cobbwell. I just... don't deal well with people. And I don't know why Mr. Stark thinks I'll be able to convince him to do anything, considering he hates me. I mean, if you really think it'll work I'll try but I have a lot of doubts"

"I think it's at least worth a shot" 

"Okay sir, I'll try"

Harley runs into the nearest bathroom and borderline collapses to the floor.

 

_Hate him?? Who could EVER hate Peter Parker? Why does he think that? Wait. Does this mean he thinks about me?? Does this mean he cares? Why can't I breathe, what's wrong with me??... Ohhh. I'm just being gay. Huh. Anyway, I should probably like. go home if I'm gonna panic. The last thing I need is another student finding me. Or worse, Peter._

 

Too late. Harley opens the door and there he is. Nerdy science shirt, messy hair, slightly swollen, bruised lip because he always bites it when he's concentrating. _Why do I focus on him so much that I know that? Jesus fucking Christ I need to pull myself together._ Peter is the absolute epitome of perfection, and Harley is a garbage boy.  _No wonder he hates me_.

"Peter!" and of course right now is the first time his voice breaks in 2 years. Harley might as well just give up, every time he speaks to Peter he embarrasses himself. 

If only he knew Peter felt like that too. 


	9. Delmars.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this might be the longest chapter yet. and there's like. actual development and dialogue so owo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive made the executive decision to not punctuate peters thoughts. the idea that theres even a shred of organisation in peter parkers brain is an affront to his personality

 

 

Harley. God, he's perfect. Peter had been hoping to avoid him, at least until tomorrow. Maybe email him at 3 am '('Cobbwell says I have to help with your homework lol do you think tony would let us work at his'), throw all his electronics out of a window and fake his death so he doesn't have to look the boy in the eye ever again.

 

_He's so tall why is he so tall why am I a tiny child this isn't fair but oh my god Peter imagine standing on your toes to kiss him that would be so nice oh he just said my name god his voice is so soft i'm going to fucking die shit i really should say something_

"Hi... Harley." Peter, suddenly aware of how high pitched his voice is, had deepened it and is now realising that he just kind of sounded like an asshole. And the awkward pause had definitely made it seem like he forgot his name. 

"Mr C-Cobbwell wants me to help you...with your homework. Yknow. Uh but I-I don't have to!!! If you don't want to I mean... It doesn't make much difference to me. I just don't like letting teachers down. But don't feel like you have to say yes I don't mind real-"

"Peter. I'd be really grateful for some help." _Were Harley's cheeks red before?_ Probably, he's way too cool to blush. Peter, however, is not too cool to blush and is in fact pretty sure he's several shades of red darker than even the Ironman suit. 

"O-oh!! uh...we should probably find. Somewhere neutral to do it then. I don't think May is prepared for me to bring boys who aren't Ned home... N-not that she'd assume anything. Or that I meant it like that. I just. She was kind of so shocked I'd made a friend she fell over when she met Ned. She might need a while to prepare for another one. Not-that-I-think-we're-friends-or-anything-I-don't-think-that-sorry"

"I wouldn't mind being friends." He's smiling. His nose scrunches a little and he has a cute dimple in his cheek and Peter feels his heart explode before he can even register what he said. When he does, his heart seems to repair itself only to explode again immediately. "And maybe Tony would let us work at his? I don't know about you, but he complains to me literally every day that I don't visit enough. Apparently, I'm neglective"

Peter lets out a soft laugh. 

"Yeah, that's Mister Stark. Do you want to call him? O-or I can. I don't mind!" 

"I can do it. For tonight though, what do you say we go get food? As far as I've heard, Delmars is the best place nearby and just opened up again after being blown up or something. You know it?"

Peter is sure he literally died and went to heaven. Harley Keener wants to have food with him. Which sounds way, way less cool than it is. It's super fucking cool. _Is this a date? No, don't be stupid Pete. There's no way in hell Harley is into guys. That'd mean I'd have to actually be lucky._

"Delmar's is great! And he has a really cute cat, you like cats right? I don't think I can be your friend if you don't like cats. That would be very much against my personal convictions" As they begin walking out of the building, Peters' heart is going at 890 miles an hour, being around Harley does that to him.

"I think Miku would be very upset if I didn't like cats"

"H-Hatsune Miku??"

"Well, her too, but I was thinking more about my cat who's named after her" 

"YOU HAVE A CAT NAMED AFTER HATSUNE MIKU?!"

"Jesus, Parker, you wanna try announcing that to the world any louder?"

"Sorry! I just. That's so cute. Please tell me I get to meet Miku some day. I love her already" Harley laughs like 300 angels all singing in harmony, and Peters' heart explodes for the third time. 

"You're only allowed to meet her if you plan to stroke her for at least 5 minutes starting the second you walk in the door. Miku's orders."

"You say 'at least 5 minutes' as if 10 isn't the minimum" 

"You raise a very good point" Harley's holding the door to Delmars open for him, and it takes all of his energy not to kiss him on the cheek in thanks.

 

Peter is kind of shocked how easy it becomes to talk to Harley once a conversation gets flowing. Maybe they'll be good friends. Hopefully, they'll be more. 


	10. Meow Meow Miku.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter dedicated to Ash. On Miku I'd die for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Miku is based on my irl cat Nancy and no I do not take constructive criticism nor will the name change goodnight.

OKAY Y'ALL I PROMISE ILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN BUT FUCKING DHSJHFJ LOOK AT WHAT [ASH](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostintraining) SENT ME TODAY I DIED (SHE GAVE ME PERMISSION TO PUT IT HERE):

Anyway moving on

* * *

 

Harley's apartment isn't too far from school, or apparently from Peters apartment according to a remark he made 3 minutes ago. Harley will never complain about being close to Peter.

 

He realised about two blocks ago why the older boy had gotten two sandwiches. He'd already devoured the first. It was kind of endearing? As he tried to work out where his key was, he noticed Peter shaking. He honestly couldn't tell if he was cold or excited to meet Miku. Whichever it was, both would be remedied soon. He finally pushed the door open and was met by loud, excited trills. His four-year-old British Shorthair/Tortoiseshell cross ran up to him and started rubbing against his legs, still screaming. He heard Peter gasp, and soon Miku turned her attention to him. 

 

Harley hadn't even taken his shoes off and Peter was on the floor, cooing at his tiny fat cat. Harley was grateful, this way Peter wouldn't see the heart eyes he was sending his way. 

"Sorry, she's gonna be distracted for about 3 minutes, it's dinner time" He reached into a cupboard and pulled out a tin of food and Miku screeched at him before running to her food bowl and screeching some more. Peter couldn't even be upset, his crush baby talking a cat was something he could watch for hours. 

 

5 minutes later, 5 minutes of the two sitting in almost complete silence on Harley's couch, Miku made another appearance. Jumping up onto Peters lap, chirping loudly and endlessly, she walked back and forth on the boy a few times before settling on the sofa next to him. Harley didn't say a word as he stared at the two. 

_God if I could just have this, every day, forever, I'd be so happy._

 

And he knew he was right. Watching his cat and the guy he liked together he realised:

_Oh my God. I've fallen in love with Peter Parker._


	11. Help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this was originally like 3 chapters but since chapter 10 sucked ass I figured id just. condense these to make up for it lol

Peter Parker is asleep on his couch. Peter Parker is asleep on his couch with his hand still on top of Miku, snoring softly and occasionally muttering. 

 

Peter Parker is asleep on his couch and suddenly Harley Keener doesn't know how to breathe.

 

It's quite late, and Harley doesn't want to wake Peter up, to make him feel like he's not welcome when honestly he never wants him to leave. He wishes his couch was big enough to curl up next to Peter without waking him up, to just lie next to him, be close to him. Alas, it's not. Not wanting to leave the room, he opts to sleep on the armchair next to the couch, where he can still be as close to Peter as possible. It honestly takes all his energy not to kiss him on the head before he sits down and pulls a blanket over himself, but he manages to exercise some form of self-control. 

* * *

Peter wakes up to soft light and birdsong. He's not at home. He doesn't know where he- oh. Last night comes flooding back to him and embarrassment flows through him as he realised he must have fallen asleep on Harley's couch. 

He lifts his head to see Harley, sprawled awkwardly on an armchair a few feet away, the early morning sunlight streaking through the window frames his face, lights it up like a beacon of perfection.  _He's ethereal. Beautiful. Way, way outta my league. He's amazing. And I'm... me._ The feeling of not being good enough lingers on his mind but is soon broken by the ringing of his phone, no doubt Aunt May panicking because he never came home. 

To his surprise, it's Tony, and be glances at Harley, who had been startled awake by the ringing, before stepping out of the room to answer, not wanting to disturb him more. 

"Mister Stark?"

"Your help? Mister Stark is something wrong?"

"Not... exactly. I mean. Yes but not anything life-threatening?"

"I'm confused" 

"Can you come over and I'll explain when you're here? and bring Harley, I could use his help too"

"How did you know I was with Harley?"

"I didn't. You live near him, he's on your route here and- wait you're with Harley? At 7 am?" 

"I'll explain later sir, I'll be there as soon as I can" He curses himself as he hangs up. The last thing he needs is Tony meddling in this. And Tony loves to meddle. 

* * *

"Who was it?" Harley is sitting up now, rubbing sleep out of his eyes and Peter wants to just forget the phone call and stare at him for the next 12 hours, but he knows he can't. 

"O-oh it was uh.. Mister Stark, he wants our h-help with something, wouldn't explain what" Oh, joy. He can't speak again. Why did Harley have to turn him into such a mess? 

"I guess we'd better get ready then. You want coffee?" Peter nods. He doesn't know why. He hates coffee.


	12. idk what to name this lol

The elevator opens and before Tony can even look up he knows exactly who it is. 

"This had better be important, asshole, you woke me up at 7 am" He chuckles. Harley never changes. 

"Morning kids, coffees over there. Pete, I know you hate it so we have tea and Red Bull too. Trust me, you'll want your energy" Harley turns to Peter, already pouring himself a mug, and tilts his head to the side.

"You don't like coffee?" Peters' face becomes weirdly guilty and Tony needs to know what the hell is going on with these two.

"I...it's... bitter. I can stomach it, though!" 

"You didn't have to say yes earlier... Or drink it. You know that right?" Before Peter can answer curiosity takes hold.

"Okay, what... what is this? You two dating and didn't tell me about it or something? You can't keep me out of the loop forever, I have people." Both of them turn into tomatoes, but only Peters face gives anything away. Even when he's panicking, Harley can usually play it cool. 

"Y'know, you always say you have people and yet we never actually see these people." 

"Answer my damn question, Keener." Peter, still looking like a blushing deer in headlights, finally pipes up.

"W-we're not dating Mister Stark..." He knows that sounded sadder than the kid had intended, and decides to drop it. 

"All right. As long as I'm not being excluded, you both know my ego is delicate. Anyway, I need you both, I got some important shit going on."

* * *

Tony takes Peter down to the workshop, leaving Harley to consume dangerous amounts of caffeine while he explains what he needs. He has different tasks for the two of them, leaving the boys silently disappointed.

The workspace is messier than usual, and Tony has never been the most organised individual. There was paper, coffee cups and pieces of hardware everywhere. Peter knew that working on paper could help him focus his mind but he hadn't ever seen him need it this much before.

"Mister Stark, what are you working on?"

"That's just the thing squirt, I'm not  _working_  on anything. I am, however, failing spectacularly at multiple things." Peter chuckles, taking a seat and picking up a crumpled piece of paper.

"What are you trying to do, and why can't Harley help too?"

"I'm trying to enhance my nanotech, and I need your help because I think if we could find a way to incorporate your web fluid formula, we might be able to make it more resilient. As for Harley, I need him for something else. And I need you focused and communicative, rather than staring at him and being unable to talk. Friday, run him through what I've got so far while I'm gone"

"Right away sir" 


	13. Kids?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley gets his assignment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God okay I'm so sorry I died for a while there. I have had A Week. Anyway, hopefully, we're back to regular updates now.

"You want me to work with kids??! Wouldn't Peter be better at that? He volunteers at an elementary school at least once a month."

"He would, but unfortunately I need him for science only he can do. Which means you, Mr Keener, are going to be the personal guide of the 16 third graders who have a school trip here today. It was supposed to be Pepper but something came up and as much as I want to skip out on my afternoon meeting, I can't." He cuts off all of Harley's attempts at protest. "I promise you, until Pepper and I have a kid, I will never ask you to babysit again. I need ya kid." Harley looks like he's mulling it over, and Tony knows he needs a final push. Pretending he's taken Harley's silence as a yes, he begins to retreat. "You'll have to go to the workshop with them at some point, be careful not to be too good with them, I know for a fact that Peter's into people who are good with kids."

"He is?!! I-I'll do it!!" He knew that would work, good composure or not, the kid is just as soft for Pete as Pete is for him. 

"Good luck kiddo."

* * *

Holy fuck. Children are a nightmare. If Harley had known he'd have said no, there are better ways to make Peter fall in love with him. Alas, here he is. Keeping 8-year-olds from breaking expensive stuff and falling out of windows he didn't even know how they got open. He's gonna kill Tony. Suddenly Friday begins to speak.

"Mr Keener, Mr Parker appears to be taking a break. It seems like an ample time to take the children to the lab." She pulls up a hologram of the security footage, showing Peter sending someone a text. Harley perks up immediately. He's been missing Peter all day, which is silly since it's only been about 3 hours. He turns to one of the teachers and asks if they're ready to go to the lab, but she says maybe they should break for lunch first  Of course. Kids need lunch, you idiot. 

Tony gets back from his meeting about 5 minutes later, and offers to join Harley. Harley immediately says yes. 

He watches the security footage while he eats, hoping that Peter won't be busy when they get down there. Tony, however, knows that isn't the whole reason, but decides not to grill him on it.

Unexpectedly, there's a tugging on his sleeve, and he looks down to see one of the few girls in the group. 

"Do you have a question, sweetheart?" She nods, and points at the security footage,

"Is that your boyfriend?" Harley chokes on air but before he can adamantly deny it, Tony leans over. 

"Yea, that's him" Harley was really,  **really** , gonna kill Tony. 


	14. The Lab

"Hey" Peter nearly jumps out of his skin. Harley is about 6 inches from his face, clearly exhausted but with the cheeky grin that always makes Peter want to kiss him.

"Hi!" He'd knocked over the test tube he was using when Harley had made him jump, and was battling between staring at him and cleaning that up. "I thought Mr. Stark had a job for you?"

"Yeah, this is it."

"Harassing me?"

"No, idiot, look around" Peter glances around and sees a handful of kids, who must be about 8, scattered around the room. Tony was showing a few the Iron Man suit, while Friday explained something to three kids and a teacher. Behind Harley stood two, eyes staring between the two of them. One of them, a small girl with pigtails, smiled at Peter before whispering to the boy next to her:

"They're boyfriends!" Peter knocked the test tube over again. Had Harley told her that? Or was she just making assumptions?

"I assure you that Peter and I aren't dating. Tony likes to embarrass people"  _Oh. Of course. Why would I assume Harley even thinks about me enough to speak about me?_

"Do you want to be?" Neither of them had expected that. Peter couldn't help but stare at Harley, wide-eyed. He was fully expecting a rebuttal, but Harley just blushed, which was something he didn't do, and whispered:

"I don't know." He made eye contact with Peter for a split second and then seemed to shake his head slightly. "We should leave Peter to work, let's go see what Mr Stark has to say!" He couldn't get away fast enough. Peters heart seemed to leave with him, and a sadness settled over him.  _Did I ever have a chance with Harley?_


End file.
